I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
