Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
