I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
