New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
