dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
