I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Still dying that you shit outside
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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