ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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