I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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