It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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