Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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