dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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