I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
