ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
