Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
