I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
