I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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