He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
They should really pass out barf bags in church
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
