I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize