There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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