Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
