margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
