It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
