Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
