Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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