can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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