also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I intend to get homeless drunk
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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