So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
