I wanna bring you to show and tell
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
