I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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