I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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