omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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