my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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