coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
