When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
50% drunk capacity currently
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
