just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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