Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize