dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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