My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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