i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
His hands were made for my vagina.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
