Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
