i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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