quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
