i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
