I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
