He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
time to smoke my breakfast
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
