So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
