considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
