He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize