Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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