this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
