just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
