Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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