how can u be prego again
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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