How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
