ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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