Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
